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Danielle Baker

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all | hiking | biking | recipes | bamfield

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Being Lost (in Life) isn't the Worst Thing

November 20, 2018

(Disclaimer: Actually being lost in the woods isn’t cool. Be prepared, know where you are going, and always support your community’s Search and Rescue. We are lucky to have them.)

Hike #8 | ?m Elevation Gain | ?km Hiked

You know when you suggest a hike to a group of friends who you’ve never really hiked with before – and then you realize that you don’t really know where you’re going? Yeah. That was this hike. But it’s also pretty much my whole life. I have a rough idea, a vague image, in mind and I’m searching for it, but probably not by the shortest route possible, certainly not without more than one detour or wrong turn, and definitely not without some less than ideal conditions.

 More often than not, when I go hiking I have a set goal and a map in hand. But in my life, no one has ever handed me directions. Instead, I’ve spent most of my time wandering off route. I’ve hit dead-ends, retraced my steps, and made my own path. I’ve also stayed too long at comfortable and pretty viewpoints, only moving on when the sun sets and leaving becomes unavoidable.

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I used to be ashamed of the meandering route that my life has taken. I would look at the peaks and alpine lakes being bagged on Instagram – on the houses purchased, babies birthed, weddings celebrated – and be concerned that I was actually lost. But I’m not. Now stay with me here because this idea is about to get a little off-track.

When my dad died we had three memorials for him. Three. And believe me, they were all necessary. At the time that he passed, he and my mom split their time between Bamfield and Mexico and he was an integral part of both communities. But the third memorial was in West Vancouver at my uncle’s house. It wasn’t somewhere that we had spent a lot of time. A lot of the people were family – my dad’s family, and some long-time friends that I knew. But there were people I didn’t know, plenty of them. There were people whose names I had heard in some of his stories but had never met. He had an ex-wife and, I’m sure, ex-girlfriends who came. It was a house full of people who loved my dad enough that despite the years they had gone without contact, they wanted to celebrate his life. Their time together, regardless of where it landed in his timeline, was that valuable.  

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This was how I came to understand that our lives aren’t linear. We aren’t on a point A to point B conveyer belt, along which we collect our degrees, promotions, husbands or wives, and children. If anything, the majority of us – like it or not – are travelling along a dirty frayed string full of knots. Each tangle, deviation, extended stop at a lookout, holds a meaning that does not diminish over time. And when we have our hearts and heads looking too far into the future, too fixedly at one goal – or worse, at someone else’s goal – we can miss the importance of all the stops along the way. Instead of relishing these experiences, they can feel like steps or speed bumps, or scratchy pieces of unforgiving salal bush instead.

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Now, you may look at my life and think that I shouldn’t be giving advice – and I’m pretty sure the girls who I hiked with on this particular day were thinking I shouldn’t be leading any hikes either, but I will say here what I said when we arrived at our first overgrown viewpoint that was bisected by some power lines, “take it in ladies, because this might be the best view we get today.”

It wasn’t, and we pushed on. But we didn’t know what would come next. We forced our way through dense bush and made our own trail. We got scraped and bruised and we topped out in a little clearing that doubled as a modest summit and was surrounded by trees that offered no views. But it was a new place that we hadn’t yet been. We took a spur in a different direction and meandered around the mountainside, only occasionally having to double back and try a new way. And then, most unexpectedly, we stumbled across the viewpoint that I’d had a vague memory of from visiting years before. It was a beautiful unencumbered view of the ocean. It was the kind of scene that Instagrams are made of – and we had it all to ourselves to enjoy.

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On our hike down, we found the original wrong turn we had made. With the confidence that only true happiness in our experience can bring, we laughed at how hard it was to miss. And yes, the final viewpoint would have been just as beautiful if we had taking the right turn and gone straight there, but our day wouldn’t have been as full – and I wouldn’t have had much of a story to tell if it had been that easy.

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(And no, the girls haven’t asked me to plan any hikes since then. . . )

In 40 Hikes Tags Horseshoe Bay, Hiking, Lost, Life Lessons, Trails, Sea to Sky
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Latest Instagrams

Holiday edition #flashbackfriday. There are all sorts of reasons to pursue post secondary education, but top of the list is the people you’ll meet there.
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Happy holiday everyone. Enjoy your family, your friends, your time doing anything that makes you happy! See you in the new year! My top nine ‘liked’ Instagram photos of 2018 are surprisingly representative of my year - love, health, outdoors, community, and writing. I am so excited for what 2019 has in store! This is my beautiful ring designed by the insanely talented @juliocuellarjewelry using the heirloom diamonds and recycled gold from my mom’s engagement ring (swipe to see the original setting).
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The mountains represent where we met, live, and play. And the diamonds are the moon and stars - although given the season, they remind me a little of snowflakes as well.
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It is so uniquely us and I can’t take my eyes off of it. Thank you @studavid70 for proposing with such perfect ring. I love you so much! We are getting married!
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Before our first date, @studavid70 and I were messaging each other on Facebook and exchanging stories about the weirdest people we had seen on Tinder. He told me about a photo he had seen of a girl dressed as an ape who was going fishing.
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Me: “You have to marry that girl, she sounds awesome!”
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Stu: No response.
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Me: [Thinking to myself] Oh shit, he was describing a photo of me. I’m so embarrassed that I might actually die. Well, this has been fun. . . (Swipe for that photo).
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Stu: “Well, this is amazing.”
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Me: “I’m so embarrassed.”
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Stu: “I wouldn’t worry about it, that’s probably what most people think.”
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This weekend, Stu asked me to marry him. He proposed to this nerdy girl who puts her lifejacket on even when she’s dressed like a sasquatch, the same girl who told him that he should marry her before he even asked her out. I said yes.
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I cannot wait for the adventures we have in our future, but for now, I’m just enjoying being in love with and engaged to this incredible human being. ❤️
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(I’ll post about the ring separately as it has its own beautiful story.) I found this beautiful note in a box of old mementos and tax recents last night when I was doing some organizing (read: searching for important paperwork that I’ve lost.)
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This note is about 15 years old and, to be honest, I had forgotten all about it. But I wear the ring frequently and have never forgotten where it came from.
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“This ring has no beginning and no end, so their future is in your hands. Please wear it as a remembrance.”
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Tony and Lucy are my adopted grandparents. They showed up in Barra de Potosi, Mexico, to rent my parent’s casita nearly two decade ago and very quickly became our family. Over the years they made regular visits down south, usually overlapping with my trips, and visits to Bamfield. And last year, Mom and I travelled to Orinda to visit.
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These two have taught me so much about life and given me so much to look forward to. Both in their 90s and married for 66 years, their love for each other is as strong as their humour and hospitality. I miss the days of sitting on the beach with them and talking about the latest Sex and City episodes or Lucy rolling her eyes while telling me, “kids these days think they invented oral sex!” But visiting them last year and filling their home with laughter and stories was just as heartwarming.
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I have always believed that family isn’t just about people who are related to you. I believe that you can choose them and they can choose you - and that can be magical. The day we hiked to the top of the mountain and forgot the snacks in the car was the day I knew we were in love - because we both made it back down. 
#filmisnotdead #shootfilmgobroke #flashbackfriday to yurt-life with @hellodarcy in Mongolia. A #waybackwednesday to hiking with these amazing ladies during the hazy days of August in Alberta. Celebrating #internationalmountainday with this photo of @jaimerhill from our #backyardbackcountry trip with @claire_buchar for @freehubmag a few years back. @treefrendo surprised me today with this awesome throw pillow that she made from my dad’s old poncho. • I love the idea of having a functional way to upcycle special mementos like this. And I feel so fortunate to have such talented and thoughtful friends in my life. • It’s the perfect addition to my festive ‘office.’

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